Day 82-83: A weekend of weights and pirates…

Yes…really…pirates!! Β πŸ˜€

Day 82: Saturday

In a break with tradition I had a personal training session at 9:30 on Saturday morning. I know…it surprised me too! Actually i wasn’t that surprised, we did arrange it in advance and everything…

Anyway…I had PT on a Saturday and it was awesome!

I did deadlifts…and sledpushes and kettlebells… which are some of my favourite things πŸ˜€ I am pretty sure I have spoke at length about how much I love all of those things so a PT session which includes them is never going to be bad πŸ˜€

We did intersperse the kettlebells with 500m row sprintishs.

A sprintish is a thing…it is not exactly a sprint because it it not totally flat out, you do have to pace yourself a little, but you have e challenging target so you have to go quickly and put in maximum effort…a bit like the 400m or the 800m probably… although neither of those distances is anything like a sprint for me…

No…I totally didn’t just make that up on the spot…honest!!

even though sprintish rowing is hard, I definitely enjoyed my PT…deadlifts will do that…even in sets of 14!

Saturday night was a pirate themed party for Kaye and Pete πŸ™‚ awesome members of mythago, Pete is the drummer and Kaye is a once and future dancer currently drumming until her knee heels!

Pirates!!! 😁😁😁

Day 83 Sunday

On Sunday I unexpectedly ended up in the gym…

It was not in my initial plan but mark suggested going so I thought why not 😁

We did supersets:

  • Squats and step ups
  • Deficit deadlifts and sled pushes and sledpulls
  • Rows, lat pull downs and seated rows

It was a pretty awesome work out in the end (and in the beginning) 😁😁

Day 82 and 83 done πŸ˜€

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Reboot Day 79 – 81: The end of the week was a marked improvement on the beginning…

Day 79: Wednesday

Wednesday was wierd. Not in terms of the exercise I did, but mentally wierd. I was still quite anxious, but feeling better than I thought I would. I had posted my “flamethrowers” post on Tuesday evening and I was feeling better because of the response I had already had from some friends and because writing things down helps. But I was also feeling worse because I am not used to talking to people about that bit of my head workings!

But I carried on with Wednesday because that was the only real option and it turns out everyone was supportive and no one thought I was attention seeking…

Wednesday started with a morning workout which always makes the day better really!

In the gym with Sarah we did deadlifts and biking relapses and leg presses and all sorts of fun things πŸ™‚ and I finished off with my hip and ankle flexibility stretches πŸ™‚

As usual, Wednesday finished with dancing… which helps everything always! In an ideal world I’d dance every day and then everything would always be ok… although I suspect it doesn’t really work that way..

Still here was an awful lot of dancing (well after the obligatory AGM which went pretty quickly to be honest) and a lot of lovely people who don’t hate me!

Day 80: Thursday

Thursdays are always tricky… this is well documented on this blog and also it says so in the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy so it must be true!!

See! It is in writing…in a book! That makes it law!!

So after a Thursday which was, while not as tricky as the rest of the week, still a bit of a challenge, I did some yoga because it is good for me!!

Excuse the confused look…I was trying to work out if that thing between my neck and shoulder was a muscle… consensus is yes…that is indeed a trap (the muscle kind) woohoo!

Day 81: Friday

Friday followed a pretty standard friday pattern… with the slight addition of having to clean up dead mice and mouse innards before I left the house… this is a dubious perk of having cats…

I did make it to the gym eventually, but neither Sarah or I were *that* dedicated. Still we did a respectable amount of bench press and row supersets. So not extremely dedicated, but it was at least balanced!

Reboot Day 78: 78 Take two…carry on regardless!

oooh! oooh! I can have another 90s song reference here!!

On tuesday I went for a run.

I didn’t really want to but I went anyway because I don’t hate it and often actually like it once I get going πŸ™‚

Also I have a half marathon to train for so shirking is not an option…

I like the word shirking…I should use it more often! Although I shouldn’t use that as a reason to actually shirk…

Anyway…I didn’t feel like running…or doing anything I was still in an anxiety headspace (is a headspace a thing? i mean a thing that isn’t just a place to put your head?) but I convinced myself to go by tricking myself.

I told myself that I only needed to do 2 km… or I could turn it into a walk.

However I ended up doing 4 km because I felt better when I was out there and I needed to πŸ˜€

So that is what I call a success πŸ˜€

Day 78 Done πŸ˜€

Day 78: A non-day

Day 78 was the day that the psycho in my head won.

It was the day I spent crying because a person said a thing that my brain interpreted completely wrongly and wouldn’t let go.

It was the day that made me think about stuff and inspired this post:

There will be flamethrowers!

I didn’t do any exercise barring walking around work. I should have done. I didn’t.

I can’t see it as a failure as it has made me decide to take control of my brain. However It doesn’t fit in to the 365 days of exercise so I will add another one on at the end to make up for it.

one day

sorry

Reboot days 76-77: A weekend of wondrous events…

Well, possibly not actually wondrous… but fun and I liked the alliteration!

Day 76: Saturday and advanture in a discovery

Or to put it another way, we went to busfest in Malvern for the day but didn’t take the van because we wanted to get there quicker…

Busfest is one of the biggest (the biggest?) VW campervan show in the country (world?). There are (obviously) lots of vans there, and lots of stalls selling stuff to put in vans, and on vans, and fix vans and make them shiny or not shiny or taller or shorter or into campers if they aren’t already…

It is quite exiting… in a van-y kind of way!

It involved a very early start and a lot of walking πŸ˜€ so that counts as activity in my book!

now here are some van pics πŸ˜€

Day 77: Sunday…Mad Jacks Day of Dance.

Can you tell from the title, that there was dancing?

Well there was dancing…it was excellent, a genuinely fun day of dancing and walking about and talking to friends! Β We were invited by Mad Jacks Morris to celebrate their 40th birthday. So we went along and danced with some other pretty damn good morris sides. Mostly cotswold and completely different to us, but it is good to see cotswold done well πŸ˜€

I did quite a few dances, it wasn’t a super full dance heavy day but that meant we could put more oomph and enthusiasm into the dances we did. It is good when it is like that, when every dance we do is all oomphy and not draggy because it is the end of the day!!

What with the dancing and the walking about up and down hills (Rye is quite hilly…I didn’t know this) I definietly got a lot of activity in πŸ˜€

Here are some dances…us and not us…

Days 76 & 77 done πŸ˜€

There will be flamethrowers!

In a short break from my normal blogging topics I thought I’d tell you about anxiety and how it relates to me.

It is relevant really because a heath and fitness should refer to all aspects of health and fitness, and certainly all aspects that relate to the blogger!

I will start with a bit of back story… in the dim and am distant past (about 10-15 years ago) I had depression and anxiety and it caused me all sorts of problems…

but I fixed myself, with some help and support…

Anyway, it doesn’t ever go away fully you just learn to live with it and stop it becoming a problem. So well in fact that I could quite easily forget I had it which is pretty dam awesome.

Until recently.

Recently anxiety has risen up and made a home in my head…

it is a bit like this:

I don’t really know where to start, it just feels important to write this down. It is not good pretending it does’t exist.

However, the first thing anxiety does it tell me that this is not worth a blog post. It tells me that I am just whinging over nothing, things are not really bad in my life after all. It tells me that noone wants to read this and that this is pointless.

It is actually right now this minute telling me that I should delete all this and not bother.

The reason I am carrying on with this is because it is important that people speak about these things, there is too much stigma attached to conditions such as anxiety and depression. The more people speak up the better. I also think it is going to help me to tell you all…

I can’t tell you exactly what triggered this, i do have a pretty good idea actually but it isn’t for here. Suffice it to say some people (not me…) did some things that shook my world view and made question a lot of things. It came to my attention around christmas and since then I have been attempting to process it. Anyway, it has triggered some anxiety I had almost forgotten that I had.

What I want to do is describe the things that this anxiety does to me. People have the perception that anxiety is extreme worrying or nervousness about situations and panic attacks. Well those things do happen, but they are not all or even the main part of anxiety for me.

This is what anxiety does to me:

It takes away my ability to trust my own judgement, it takes away my ability to accurately asses situations, it makes it impossible for me to know what I feel or believe what others say.

If I text someone, and they don’t text back immediately the psycho in my brain starts doing this…

“You are annoying them”

“They don’t want to talk to you”

“Why don’t they like you”

“You are not investing why would they answer”

“Stop texting”

“Just check to see”

“Why wouldn’t they just tell me to go away”

“I hope they don’t tell me to go away”

“Why would they want to talk to you anyway”

“They would rather talk to anyone else let’s be honest”

And more and more to that effect all in the space of seconds…

All the while the logical sensible side of me knows none of this is not true. It counters with:

“They are at work”

“They are busy”

“Even if they forget it doesn’t mean they hate you”

“Stop being ridiculous”

Then the psycho picks up on “ridiculous” and starts of with:

“You are so ridiculous”

“Everything you do its stupid”

“You are kidding yourself”

Again all in the space of seconds…

this carries on until it is so loud inside my head that it feels like it will explode.

So I text people again and again and again then I know I am annoying and start apologising for being annoying over and over again…

I did this yesterday to more than one person…

It doesn’t matter that I know that is is all in my head, I feel powerless to stop it!!

The really stupid thing is when they do answer the email or text the psycho starts off with

“You guilt tripped them into it…”

“They answered to shut you up”

It is exhausting!

Then there is the thing that happens when something good happens…

you get super happy and excited for a few seconds then the doubts start..

“You have no reason to be this excited it’s not a big deal”

“Other people do this way better than you it should be them”

“It has been a mistake”

This sort of second guessing and negative self talk happens for everything, every conversation (almost), for every event, for every time I step on a scale or decide on food, for every decision I have to make!

(Except dancing…this doesn’t happen at dancing for some reason)

This is what anxiety does to me!

I can’t pick up a phone to make a phone call without about a day of procrastinating.

I can’t go to a new thing with new people without giving myself a constant pep talk. Yes there have even been times when I can’t do things at all.

I rarely get panic attacks. I rarely give outward signs that this is going on… but it is there!

I can’t tell people because I don’t want to bother them, the psycho me tells me they don’t really care anyway…

I need to point out this is not all the time!

I am generally ok even now. It is happening more at the moment for some reason, but it is not all the time!

I am not telling you this so you (if you are one of those I speak to away from blog world) will text me back more often or more quickly…

I really do know that you all have lives and things to do!

I really do know that one missed text doesn’t mean you hate me!

I just felt the need to write this down because it happens to me sometimes.

I am winning over the psycho and I will not let this stop me from doing stuff!

Doing stuff helps!

Dancing helps!

Lifting helps!

Running and cycling helps!

Art helps!

Blogging helps…

So all I have to do is keep doing and find a way to stop listening to the psycho on the occasion that they creep in!

I am even second guessing publishing this post because I don’t want people to think I am guilt tripping them into liking me!

I am not! This isn’t what this is!

This is me saying no more!!

No more psycho no more monsters no more sitting alone in the dark!

This is me taking back my head!!

There will be flamethrowers!!

Reboot days 71-75: It’s been one week…

It’s been one week since I wrote to you…

Yes it’s 90s song reference time again!! No, I can’t fit any more words into the lyrics of the song…because it is a Barenaked Ladies song and has too many words for normal people so here is the video…watch it then I’ll tell you all about this week…

I like that song πŸ˜€

Anyway…

Day 71: Monday = lunchtime runday!

It was Monday lunchtime, it looked like it was a reasonable temperature so I got changed and went out for a run! It turned out to be warmer than I anticipated and the air felt like breathing warm water, I can only assume it was still air mind you as I didn’t drown…

Still I went and I ran and I improved a little on my keeping going for all of my designated run intervals πŸ™‚

Day 72: Tuesday training day

Nope not like the movie…

If you haven’t seen it look it up and you’ll see why I wouldn’t want it to be like the movie…

I mean, of course it was my personal training session in the morning. It was a good one too… it was quite cardio and condition-y which is necessary for the running so I am not complaining…not really…

Well I might be a little, but I am still doing the things πŸ˜€ This weeks things were good things anyway, they were TRX single arm rows, kettlebell swings, kettlebell snatches and rowing sprints πŸ˜€ I do not hate doing these things!

Day 73: A Wednesday…

Ok…that wasn’t an inventive day introduction…but it was a Wednesday so it is at least accurate!

Wednesday started as it often does at the gym, I remembered to take a list of stuff to do…and by list I mean program written by the awesome Kortney Olsen and her team and we did that. It involved all sorts of good things like Deadlifts and Overhead presses and leg presses with duck feet (not actual ducks feet…honest) and Rows…

I followed this up with a core selection circuit and my mobility exercises πŸ™‚

Later that day there was dancing πŸ™‚ so much dancing…

So much dancing in fact that I forgot to take any pictures… but you know what a mythago practice looks like by now πŸ™‚

Day 74: Thursday rest and yoga

It was a Thursday… and as we know Thursday is always tricky… so tricky in fact that I ended up yogaing for stress and anxiety late at night again…

It was good for me!

Day 75: Friday…the day I did hip thrusts again!

After just discovering hip thrusts for the first time last week, they cropped up again in my programme… which I remembered to take to the gym…again!! Woohoo!!

We did hip thrusts and squats and some other things which temporarily slip my mind… they were awesome though…

And that was the week last week…

Reports of the weekend will follow shortly 😁😁

Days 71-75 done

Reboot day 70: Sunday run-day

Sunday was raining.

I pottered around in the morning doing things and hoping that it would stop and dry up and become a good running weather day…

It didn’t…

But, come 4pm when it was still peeing down, I decided that there was no real choice, I had to go anyway. After all I bailed on Saturdays run so Sunday had to have running in it! Training, has to continue even if it is damp or cold… if it doesn’t I’ll. ever be ready for Feb!!

So I donned my totally inappropriate for the weather Run like a Grrrl shirt and my supershero leggings and I got out there and did some running!!

I lengthened my run intervals and increased my overall distance… it bad for a soggy Sunday πŸ™‚

And, you know what, running in the rain is not so bad really πŸ™‚ better than scorching hot sunshine!!

Day 70 done πŸ™‚

Reboot day 69: Walk a mile in my shoes

Well not so much a mile, more, well …you’ll see πŸ™‚

It was Saturday, I had tried to run but really wasn’t in the right frame of mind… I was struggling to know what exercise to do…

It shouldn’t really be that hard but some days you just don’t have a decision making capability…

faith good ideaAnyway, I came up with an idea, it was part intrigue, and part laziness. Not physical laziness, but mental laziness. I was an idea that seemed like a good one when I had it…and I decided that if nothing else it would lead to a good blog post πŸ™‚

The things I do for you guys!!

I decide to do one of the workouts I planned for my best client. I chose the most recent one from this Friday, I got my stuff and I set myself up in the kitchen. It had to be the kitchen because I needed a smooth floor…

First was tabata, I have random exercises on cards, I picked out 2 from the cardio labelled exercises and alternated them for 4 mins of 20 seconds work, 10 seconds rest. Then I did it again with another two randomly picked cards.

I did Med ball power knees because it seemed like a good fit, and look, voluntary fancy burpees!!

After this I did the resistance band section, these were the small resistance bands which I have previously talked about going round knees for such things as squats… These exercises are all a lot more difficult than they look… this is a thing I know about resistance bands. I even did the required 15 reps…15 reps is not my favourite amount of reps…but I did it because they were the rules…do the exercises as written…

Following this was the turn of the fluffy cloth workout… sounds nice and easy and happy doesn’t it… well really not so much…

there are commercially available workout thingies that take the form of sliders that you put your feet or hands on and move them about in different ways… they are expensive and can be simulated with a smooth floor and some microfibre cloths…

So that is what I did.

These exercises are excellent because you have to use your core and stabiliser muscles as well as the muscles being worked just to keep from over sliding and falling down…

Excellent and evil!!

My client actually banned me from ever bringing these back a while ago (yes she can do that) but relented last week and so I decided this workout that I also did… it was HARD!

Good hard but hard!!!

I can sort of see why she banned them to be honest but hey are so effective I think I will use them again!

The last thing I did was some core exercises using the little Pilates ball πŸ™‚ I remember these being easier (not easy but easier) when I used to go to Pilates!!

What have I learned from this experience?

Well a couple of things actually…

  1. I am not an easy trainer
  2. My client is a lot fitter than she thinks she is (she made this look easier than I felt it was)
  3. If I want to get myself back to full fitness and drop some fat (which I do explain-y post to follow) I should write myself workouts and get my arse into gear and do them!!!

So that is what I am going to do… I am going to treat myself as I would my own client and make no more excuses!!

Reeboot day 67-68: running and dancing and more rack pulls…

Day 67: Thursday

Thursdays are tricky, I know I have mentioned that in the past. This thursday I didn’t really want to do anything, and it was raining and thundering… however as luck would have it, the rain stopped and the thunder quieted so I had no excuse, I had to go for a run πŸ™‚ I literally had no choice, I promised Susie!

I still did run/walk intervals (although I have been told I have to close the gaps soon) and I extended my distance to 4km πŸ™‚ slow progress but still progress…

Day 67 done

Day 68 Friday: John Barleycorn and hip thrusts (not at the same time)

Friday started in the gym as friday is apt to do πŸ™‚ this particular friday we tried something new…We tried hip thrusts, the ones where you put your feet on the floor, rest your shoulders on a bench and a bar accross your hips and, well, thrust it up and down. It is good for your bum… apparently… well you can definitely feel it… but it is a wierd one to do. We successfully made everything we attempted look difficult, for a pair of trained fitness professionals we did an excellent job of looking like we were beginners πŸ˜€

ANyway, we supersetted hip thrusts with rack pulls, I know I did those on Wednesday but we decided to do them again…posterior chain activation was the thing for the week… we followed that with a superset of leg press and rows…It turned into mainly back day…

This is a hip thrust… only we did it with 40kg because what else would you start with?

What the don’t show you is the inelegance of getting in and out of that position!!

Neither does it show what happens when the bar is wonky tips to one side and you can’t fix it because you are under a bar…

In that situation, it is good to have a friend at the gym with you…they can rescue you and prevent you from looking ridiculous… well maybe not that last bit, but rescue you any way…

img_0945

This is me on Friday… the pic on the right is just after the gym and the pic on the left neatly segues into the other activity I engaged in on Friday…

Dancing!!!

Not any dancing either, Dancing out in our beautiful new John Barleycorn kit. Yes that’s right Friday was the inaugural performance of Mythago’s brand new John Barleycorn Story πŸ˜€ well, new to Mythago anyway, the story of John Barleycorn has been around for a while… here is what Wikipedia has to say about it:

John BarleycornΒ is a British folksong (Roud 164). The character ofΒ John BarleycornΒ in the song is a personification of the important cereal crop barley and of the alcoholic beverages made from it, beer and whisky.

It is quite a violent story really, talk of harrowing and cutting him off at the knee, ripping skin from bone and grinding and burying in the earth…
However when you realise that John Barleycorn is a personification of barley and the story is of the cycle of the seasons and the growing and harvesting crops, it all makes a little more sense πŸ˜€

I was John Barleycorn, as you might have gathered, and we danced the dances and didn’t make any mistakes even though we had new endings and different arrangements for the story πŸ˜€ It was a lot of fun!

Picture used with permission from Amberley Museum πŸ™‚

Day 68 done

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