Dear Running part 2

This should, strictly speaking, be called “Dear Races” but it isn’t…

After last week’s moderately disastrous Reading Half Marathon (yes I know I completed it and that is a great achievement blah blah…it was still in many ways disastrous), I have been doing a lot of thinking about running.

About whether I want to run at all again, about whether I will do any races, about just what it is about running that makes me keep doing it when I am clearly not cut out for it.

Firstly I should say, that I don’t always hate running. I sometimes even quite like it. BUT I am not one of these people who needs to run to feel better, I don’t love it and it doesn’t love me. I should also say that whatever I feel about running, I have a massive amount of respect for people who can run, and who can complete marathons and half marathons without having a world class melt down like I did!

The problem I have is really related to running in organised races and events. WHen I run in these, I feel like the last 2 years of training have not happened!

I feel like the fat girl who struggles to keep up with everyone.

I basically feel like this:

basically rubbish!

rubbish!

there are several reasons for this…

1) I run very slowly!

2) the slow runners start at the back, so they can only get further back and their slowness is highlighted to the world.

3) I don’t look comfortable running, no matter how I am actually feeling, I look like I am struggling. This makes people encourage the “plucky fat girl who is trying her best” which makes me feel ashamed!

I know a good deal of this is in my head, but that is how running races makes me feel. I know I am better than I was. I know that. Running its self doesn’t make me feel like that.

Running on my own, comparing my time to my previous times doesn’t make me feel like that.

This is why I cry during events and why I don’t want to put myself through them any more!

Lifting on the other hand makes me feel like this:

superbuffygif

and like this:

thor gif

basically awesome!

So from now on, I am going to mainly do things that make me feel awesome!

Advertisements

Tags: , , , , , ,

About Ice_Badger

Exercisaholic, Photographer, Artist, Engineer, Morris Dancer, General Obsessive...

11 responses to “Dear Running part 2”

  1. NancyTex says :

    Doing what makes you feel awesome sounds like a very sound plan to me. xoxo

  2. jane in training says :

    I totally agree with doing things that make you feel good, that are encouraging, not stressful…

    I admit that there are certain types of exercise that put me in an incredibly bad mood. Like I could easily have a tantrum because I can’t do them properly. Not a pretty sight!

    • Ice_Badger says :

      Exaxtly! Running in races makes me want to shout at perfectly harmless people who are trying to be encouraging! Not something I want to do really!

  3. jane in training says :

    Part of me would like to see this: “Stop with encouragement you friendly, well-meaning strangers!! It’s not helping!!! #!@!%#!!”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Did That Just Happen Blog

Sometimes even I can't explain my life!

lifesfinewhine

Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

Mama G's adventures

If you can't fly with the big girls....stay off the broom

Touch Of Cinnamon

There are words that kiss us as if they have a mouth

Trenton Babbage Enterprises

All you'll ever need, if you're only looking for stuff that's specifically here

Art Journal

Art inspired by life

Red Van Travels

Let the ad-van-tures begin...

The Cocktail Challenge

Our attempt at mixing, drinking and tinkering aka getting drunk and feeling fancy

Living Out Loud

With my feet on the ground and head in the clouds...

Who Shot Tony Blair?

In a post-Brexit, pre-dystopian Britain, the people really are in charge. Which is what we all wanted, right?

Building Belaquis

Bodybuilding | Meal Prep | Ramblings

Dinata Misovec

Has Senior Adventures

kirilson photography

the stories behind the pictures, and vice versa

Awkward Bouncer

GB Trampolinist, Sheffield University Graduate in Biology

eyeonberlin

from the pretty to the gritty

Fit Life Focus

Meal Prep, Lifting Weights & Fitness Motivation

heavy barbell

Sex, weights and protein shakes. Mainly weights though...

My Curls

The blog of MyCurls.co.uk

Burpees to Bubbly

Because good workouts deserve bubbly rewards!

Squat University

The Ultimate Guide To Finding Your True Strength

Running While Fat

I'm fat. I run. And lift. And yoga. And swim. And...

Lifting My Spirits

A lifelong dream deferred no longer- transformation from fat chick to bodybuilder after age 50.

My Bucket List

Live For Today

The Gym Bug

Follow my mission to catch the "gym bug"

Clumsy Runner Blog

Sunshine, Smiles & Happy Miles

The Performance People

Horsham Personal Training, Sports Therapy and Nutritional Therapy

cogitjoggett

blogging about Janathon and Juneathon running challenges

hayleymorcom.wordpress.com/

simplifying a happy healthy lifestyle

bloominolive

never perfect. always progressing. keep bloomin.

The Warrior Project

Become the modern warrior in what ever you do.

imamotherrunner

My journey as a mother and a runner

Fatty to Janathon Fitty

Operation couch to 10k

Annesmiles

Finding Happy & Healthy

Not Your Normal Health Blog

Fun Fitness. Yummy Health Food. Spoil-Yourself Spas. Barely Any Kale.

Idaswears's Blog

Just another WordPress.com site

Straight Talking Fitness

A site dedicated to helping you become stronger across the board; physically, mentally and emotionally.

Hell Or High Water

staying strong.

%d bloggers like this: