Treading water (not literally…)

Never good enough

Constant search for perfection

Inadequacy

I know I know..i haven’t posted for ages and I come back with a haiku, but it sums up how I am feeling at the moment. I am a little bit lost and a little bit stuck.

I am still doing my daily exercise, some (about one day a week) have been minimal exercise days consisting of a walk but every day has included something! Most days have involved either a run, a dance (so much dancing πŸ™‚ ) or a gym session! I have even found a gym buddy and managed to get myself to the gym in the morning three times a week!!

But you know what I don’t think I am doing enough. I am not eating well enough, I am not exercising enough. I have put on and lost the same 4-5kg now over and over again for 18 months!

No rest, never rest

no time, always keep busy

Move more, eat less, sleep!

I know the theory, I can tell other people what to do and when they do what I say they are really successful… yes one of my clients has lost 6 stone (31kg). But I seem to have a mental block when it comes to applying the process to myself!

I find myself constantly annoyed with my lack of progress, and the fact that I still see myself as a lump. I tell myself to look at how far I have come, and I know without a doubt that I am fitter and stronger now, but my brain just keeps telling me that this isn’t the point.

I find myself questioning whether I am really in a position to tell people what to do and how to be fit. Yes…despite the fact that people are currently paying me to do just that and taking me seriously!

I think I need a plan.

Some sort of focus rather than all of this floundering about!

Yes…I know that was why I rebooted the 365 thing, but it is not really specific enough. I have stuck resolutely to my “no signing up for races” rule that I made after that half marathon disaster (this one). I am, however, beginning to suspect that this is not necessarily working for me. I think I need something to train for! An aim and some goals.

In short, (as if I could ever be brief…) I think I need a challenge!

I don’t have one yet, so as I have said before…I am open to ideas!

challenge me

again!!Β 

I promise my next post will not be 2 months away, and I will be back full of plans and goals and other such goodness!!

Advertisements

About Ice_Badger

Exercisaholic, Photographer, Artist, Engineer, Morris Dancer, General Obsessive...

13 responses to “Treading water (not literally…)”

  1. PorterGirl says :

    Oh, I want to give you a great big hug!! Your haikus are, of course, as fabulous as ever and you should know that I have such HUGE admiration for what you have achieved with your fitness and how you train others too. It’s a MASSIVE thing! You have put so much into it, no wonder you are having a little wobble now. You most certainly are not a lump, not even a hint of lumpiness. Not everyone is meant to be a stick insect and who would want to be like that anyway? I believe in you, Sam! I hope an awesome challenge comes your way soon πŸ™‚ Sending big hugs to my Minister for Great Ideas & Gin πŸ™‚

    • Ice_Badger says :

      Awwww thank you!!!
      Your comment really cheered me up πŸ˜€
      I am sure I am just having a wobble and I will come up with an idea for a challenge (or someone will) which will give me a bit of focus soon!
      I do think you are right about being skinny, I have been skinny and I had to eat nothing (literally) which always no fun!
      I just realised, have to come up with a challenge…after all it falls into the category of an idea and as Minister for Great Ideas and Gin I am the perfect person πŸ˜€

  2. Ellen Hawley says :

    I wondered where you’d been. I don’t have a challenge to offer. I’m a walker, and not a planned one. I’m on the two-dog exercise plan.

    • Ice_Badger says :

      A two dog exercise plan sounds a lot like a challenge…albeit a fun one!
      A post I am half way through writing was about our trip to north wales which involved walking all day every day more or less and I loved it!!
      Maybe a walking challenge πŸ˜€
      Hopefully I am firmly back in the blog world now πŸ˜€

  3. NancyTex says :

    You, my friend, are my sister-from-another-mister. I have been struggling with the same feelings for the better part of 2 years now. First it was the adjustment to going back to a real job, and all the demands a big career has put on my time, not allowing for me to just faff around in a gym for 3-4 hours at a time, on the daily. In retrospect, how could I not have been successful with my 2013 year of sweat when all I had to do, really, was exercise, with no other demands on me?
    Then there was the attack of the killer gall bladder, and how that de-commissioned me for 2 full months.
    And now it’s just a general frustration that I don’t feel as fit as I did 2-3 years ago, and feeling like, how on earth can I possible maintain that when I don’t have hours and hours to spend at the gym?

    Like you, I know the answer is to not just focus 100% on the exercise part, but that I REALLY REALLY need to put some attention on the eating part. I don’t eat a lot (volume wise), but I know I make bad choices a lot of the time. I want to just kick myself, because I know that if I was doing even just the current level of daily exercise I am doing, but combined with healthy food choices 90% of the time, I would be WAY better off, would lose weight, and feel better all around. And yet I seem incapable of doing that. A big part for me is that I’m not the primary food-shopper or food-preparer in my house. Hubby does that, and – well – he doesn’t always put a ton of priority on healthy. In fact, he chooses tasty over healthy 99% of the time. (Not to say tasty can’t be healthy, but you know what I mean…)

    Anyway – I can’t blame anyone but myself, BUT… I still am finding excuses everywhere.

    If you come up with a brilliant idea to get back on track, please let me know!

    xoxo

    • Ice_Badger says :

      You do understand completely! it is so frustrating because we know really that we can do it,we have done it before and should be able to do it again. We just need to stop making bad choices food wise and do some exercise every day!

      Just!!

      I ahte the work just!! because if it was just that easy we would be doing it!!

      I have literally no idea how I am going to get back on track!! All I am doing at the moment is resetting every day and trying to make good food choices every time I am faced with a choice. I don’t , but I am trying to!

      I think the first thing we need to do is stop being so blooming hard on ourselves… beating ourselves up seems to be getting us nowhere!! If you are like me it seems to go
      “I should be able to do this, I need to be better, I should be able to fix myself…dammit I am a lump I am having a cookie!”

      which is a tiny bit counter productive really!!

      I think for me it will be a challenge that I sign up for and have to complete. The problem with that is that if I chose the wrong one it will make me feel worse 😦 I wish there were real fitness challenges that were not running, the majority of easily accessible fitness challenges are running based. (real challenges not just do ones that can be found on pinterest which are too easy to ignore!

      I think real goals is the only way forward though, and ones with something riding on them!

      I am starting with focusing on the positives for the first half of 2016 and wiring blog posts about them! hopefully this will help readjust my thinking!

      I will keep you posted

      xoxox

      PS…I was literally in the middle of emailing you!!

      • NancyTex says :

        I’ll give some thought to a challenge that is non-running based and -even if it’s an online thing- perhaps if we BOTH committed to doing it, we could hold each other accountable versus just ignoring it. Let me give it some thought.

      • Ice_Badger says :

        ooh yes, if we were both committed to it, then it would be much harder to ignore!!
        that is an excellent idea! I will give it some thought too πŸ˜€

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Did That Just Happen Blog

Sometimes even I can't explain my life!

lifesfinewhine

Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

Mama G's adventures

If you can't fly with the big girls....stay off the broom

Touch Of Cinnamon

There are words that kiss us as if they have a mouth

Trenton Babbage Enterprises

All you'll ever need, if you're only looking for stuff that's specifically here

Art Journal

Art inspired by life

Red Van Travels

Let the ad-van-tures begin...

The Cocktail Challenge

Our attempt at mixing, drinking and tinkering aka getting drunk and feeling fancy

Living Out Loud

With my feet on the ground and head in the clouds...

Who Shot Tony Blair?

In a post-Brexit, pre-dystopian Britain, the people really are in charge. Which is what we all wanted, right?

Building Belaquis

Bodybuilding | Meal Prep | Ramblings

Dinata Misovec

Has Senior Adventures

kirilson photography

the stories behind the pictures, and vice versa

Awkward Bouncer

GB Trampolinist, Sheffield University Graduate in Biology

eyeonberlin

from the pretty to the gritty

Fit Life Focus

Meal Prep, Lifting Weights & Fitness Motivation

heavy barbell

Sex, weights and protein shakes. Mainly weights though...

My Curls

The blog of MyCurls.co.uk

Burpees to Bubbly

Because good workouts deserve bubbly rewards!

Squat University

The Ultimate Guide To Finding Your True Strength

Running While Fat

I'm fat. I run. And lift. And yoga. And swim. And...

Lifting My Spirits

A lifelong dream deferred no longer- transformation from fat chick to bodybuilder after age 50.

My Bucket List

Live For Today

The Gym Bug

Follow my mission to catch the "gym bug"

Clumsy Runner Blog

Sunshine, Smiles & Happy Miles

The Performance People

Horsham Personal Training, Sports Therapy and Nutritional Therapy

cogitjoggett

blogging about Janathon and Juneathon running challenges

hayleymorcom.wordpress.com/

simplifying a happy healthy lifestyle

bloominolive

never perfect. always progressing. keep bloomin.

The Warrior Project

Become the modern warrior in what ever you do.

imamotherrunner

My journey as a mother and a runner

Fatty to Janathon Fitty

Operation couch to 10k

Annesmiles

Finding Happy & Healthy

Not Your Normal Health Blog

Fun Fitness. Yummy Health Food. Spoil-Yourself Spas. Barely Any Kale.

Idaswears's Blog

Just another WordPress.com site

Straight Talking Fitness

A site dedicated to helping you become stronger across the board; physically, mentally and emotionally.

Hell Or High Water

staying strong.

%d bloggers like this: