Treading water (not literally…)
Never good enough
Constant search for perfection
I know I know..i haven’t posted for ages and I come back with a haiku, but it sums up how I am feeling at the moment. I am a little bit lost and a little bit stuck.
I am still doing my daily exercise, some (about one day a week) have been minimal exercise days consisting of a walk but every day has included something! Most days have involved either a run, a dance (so much dancing 🙂 ) or a gym session! I have even found a gym buddy and managed to get myself to the gym in the morning three times a week!!
But you know what I don’t think I am doing enough. I am not eating well enough, I am not exercising enough. I have put on and lost the same 4-5kg now over and over again for 18 months!
No rest, never rest
no time, always keep busy
Move more, eat less, sleep!
I know the theory, I can tell other people what to do and when they do what I say they are really successful… yes one of my clients has lost 6 stone (31kg). But I seem to have a mental block when it comes to applying the process to myself!
I find myself constantly annoyed with my lack of progress, and the fact that I still see myself as a lump. I tell myself to look at how far I have come, and I know without a doubt that I am fitter and stronger now, but my brain just keeps telling me that this isn’t the point.
I find myself questioning whether I am really in a position to tell people what to do and how to be fit. Yes…despite the fact that people are currently paying me to do just that and taking me seriously!
I think I need a plan.
Some sort of focus rather than all of this floundering about!
Yes…I know that was why I rebooted the 365 thing, but it is not really specific enough. I have stuck resolutely to my “no signing up for races” rule that I made after that half marathon disaster (this one). I am, however, beginning to suspect that this is not necessarily working for me. I think I need something to train for! An aim and some goals.
In short, (as if I could ever be brief…) I think I need a challenge!
I don’t have one yet, so as I have said before…I am open to ideas!
I promise my next post will not be 2 months away, and I will be back full of plans and goals and other such goodness!!