Archive | September 2017

Reboot Day 89-90: Three runs in one weekend??

Yes, you read that right, 3 runs in 2 days!!

What is going on?

Who am I turning into?

What is going on here…this amount of running does not make sense!!!

Except that it does make sense if you have signed up for a half marathon and are out to prove to the world (yourself) that you can do it in a not super terrible way!

Day 89: Two Run Saturday!

two runs, two new places to run and two times I got completely lost while running!

Well completely lost is a bit of an exaggeration as I managed to find my way back to where I started both times. I just went a completely different way to the other people I was with.

The first run was only little…even by my standards…it was a mile. It was a charity run “organised” by a physiotherapy centre in Godalming called Care for Health. They they wanted 125 runners to run 1 mile each so they could have 125 miles run to celebrate the 125th birthday of the charity. The charity was The Meath, an epilepsy charity. It seemed like a good thing to do and my friend Susie talked me into it… It was a fairly low key event, we arrived signed our lives away (well the rights to our photos anyway… then set off for a run. We were offered a map, but it was laminated and awkward, so we decided we would rely on the signs that there were supposed to be en route…

We saw no signs!

Apparently we missed the first one which made finding the rest of them quite hard! so we followed our noses, well Susie, Graham and Izzy did and I followed them from a distance…until I lost them and then I followed the signs to Godalming station because we had started near there. It worked…I went a mile…it might have been a different mile to everyone else, and I might have arrived back from the opposite direction to everyone else…but It was still a mile!

After this shortconfusing run we decided that as we were out, and had traveled to another county to run, we should go and run more…

So off we went to a place called Newlands corner, which is not really a corner, more the top of a hill. It is a meeting place on the top of the Surrey Hills to be precise.Β  In case the name didn’t give it away, this run involved hills. The first half was ok…we set off down a hill…then I got lost again. Well sort of.

I quickly lost sight of Susie, Graham and Izzy due to them being better than me. Then as I had no idea of the route we were supposed to be taking I just continued along a likely looking path until it petered out at which point I doubled back and went down a much more steep down hill looking path until I felt like I had gone halfway to far enough. Then I turned around.

the rest was uphill…and slow… mostly because of the uphill and partly because I kept stopping to figure out where I was and to take photos…

Look at that elevation change!! Hills!!

Day 90: Sunday

Sunday was also a run day…

Against all good sense I went out for another run πŸ˜‰

I sat around and procrastinated all through the lovely sunny bit of the day…when went out as it started to rain…

But I went and I did a longer run than I have been doing. I am aiming to increase my distance every time (unless i go at lunchtime then I only have a short time). I think I am improving…in not very measurable ways…

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Reboot days 86 – 88: End of the week adventures in dancing and running and lifting things up! I

Day 86: Wednesday

Wednesday, by all accounts followed a similar pattern to a lot of Wednesdays…

It started with a gym session and ended with lots of dancing πŸ˜€

In between these (apart form work…) there was a walk around during which I saw some squirrels and got run at by a dog…because the dog doesn’t like hats…

People who own dogs, if you own a dog who will run at and bark aggressively (and who knows what else) at people because they happen to be wearing a hat, it is your responsibility to train your dog, not mine to remove my hat just in case.

Anyway, morning gymming… wednesdays are the early early start, so we one of our fall back options, pushy-pully thing supersetted with deadlifts πŸ˜€ and incline bench press supersetted with rows πŸ™‚ followed by a quick set of leg extensions πŸ˜€

Walking, apart from the dog incident was quite pleasant πŸ˜€ It is always good to get out of the office and walk around in the fresh air!

And then of course there was dancing 😁

Lots and lots of lovely dancing! Durning which I was too busy actually dancing to remember to take photos πŸ™‚

Day 87: Thursday

This day was the day I had a giant row with my brain! I didn’t want to run but I had to run. I didn’t want to run but I couldn’t justify not running… also I had told people I was going for a run and couldn’t face saying I hadn’t gone… again!!

So after 45 mins procrastination and deliberation I actually got out for a run! It was dark and I was slower than a really slow thing on a slow day but I went and that is more of a win than just being good at it!! (I am telling myself that anyway)

Day 88: Friday 😊

Friday was fun, I went to the gym and did some lifting of heavy things! One of the heavy things I lifted was me… with a bit of help from a giant elastic band…

yes…that’s right assisted pull ups… woohoo (ish)

See that giant elastic band…that is what helped me do pull ups… I guess it takes out about half if not more of my bodyweight…

but it is smaller than the elastic band I used last time…so yeay!!

The rest of the session was OH pressed leg presses and back squats 😁

Day 85: Tremendous tuesday!

I know!! A most unexpected reaction to a Tuesday isn’t it?!!

Well, it was! Tremendous!

I had PT in the morning which was HIIT (second time in 2 days…Matt must be psychic!) and intervals on a treadmill. Yes that’s right…I went on a treadmill and I didn’t die!!

Then, in my lunchbreak I went for a run, I managed (slightly) longer run intervals!

All the running and no death that is a bonus!!

Day 85 done

Day 84: Good save monday

Monday was looking like it was going to be a write off…

I tried to get up and either run or gym before work but I wasn’t meeting anyone to do either of these things so I stayed asleep… you all know full well I am not a morning bear really!

morning4-1

later that day…

It was after work, I was supposed to be going for a run… I procrastinated so much that it because too dark and too late to run. So I arrived back home cross and trying to figure out what to do…

I decided to do HIIT training so I investigated the Popsugar fitness app I have on my phone. I found a 10 min HIIT workout video and a 10 min core for runners workout so I did those and followed them both up with some slidy exercises on my makeshift slider thingies (microfiber dusters). I did all of this while my chicken was cooking for my dinner.

Somehow I managed to salvage the day, and change it from being an annoying nothingy day to a quite productive cardio-y day πŸ˜€

It wasn’t the hardest routine in the world, but it was good, and it made me work and above all else it cheered me up and allowed me to end the day on a positive note rather than a negative one πŸ˜€

Day 82-83: A weekend of weights and pirates…

Yes…really…pirates!! Β πŸ˜€

Day 82: Saturday

In a break with tradition I had a personal training session at 9:30 on Saturday morning. I know…it surprised me too! Actually i wasn’t that surprised, we did arrange it in advance and everything…

Anyway…I had PT on a Saturday and it was awesome!

I did deadlifts…and sledpushes and kettlebells… which are some of my favourite things πŸ˜€ I am pretty sure I have spoke at length about how much I love all of those things so a PT session which includes them is never going to be bad πŸ˜€

We did intersperse the kettlebells with 500m row sprintishs.

A sprintish is a thing…it is not exactly a sprint because it it not totally flat out, you do have to pace yourself a little, but you have e challenging target so you have to go quickly and put in maximum effort…a bit like the 400m or the 800m probably… although neither of those distances is anything like a sprint for me…

No…I totally didn’t just make that up on the spot…honest!!

even though sprintish rowing is hard, I definitely enjoyed my PT…deadlifts will do that…even in sets of 14!

Saturday night was a pirate themed party for Kaye and Pete πŸ™‚ awesome members of mythago, Pete is the drummer and Kaye is a once and future dancer currently drumming until her knee heels!

Pirates!!! 😁😁😁

Day 83 Sunday

On Sunday I unexpectedly ended up in the gym…

It was not in my initial plan but mark suggested going so I thought why not 😁

We did supersets:

  • Squats and step ups
  • Deficit deadlifts and sled pushes and sledpulls
  • Rows, lat pull downs and seated rows

It was a pretty awesome work out in the end (and in the beginning) 😁😁

Day 82 and 83 done πŸ˜€

Reboot Day 79 – 81: The end of the week was a marked improvement on the beginning…

Day 79: Wednesday

Wednesday was wierd. Not in terms of the exercise I did, but mentally wierd. I was still quite anxious, but feeling better than I thought I would. I had posted my “flamethrowers” post on Tuesday evening and I was feeling better because of the response I had already had from some friends and because writing things down helps. But I was also feeling worse because I am not used to talking to people about that bit of my head workings!

But I carried on with Wednesday because that was the only real option and it turns out everyone was supportive and no one thought I was attention seeking…

Wednesday started with a morning workout which always makes the day better really!

In the gym with Sarah we did deadlifts and biking relapses and leg presses and all sorts of fun things πŸ™‚ and I finished off with my hip and ankle flexibility stretches πŸ™‚

As usual, Wednesday finished with dancing… which helps everything always! In an ideal world I’d dance every day and then everything would always be ok… although I suspect it doesn’t really work that way..

Still here was an awful lot of dancing (well after the obligatory AGM which went pretty quickly to be honest) and a lot of lovely people who don’t hate me!

Day 80: Thursday

Thursdays are always tricky… this is well documented on this blog and also it says so in the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy so it must be true!!

See! It is in writing…in a book! That makes it law!!

So after a Thursday which was, while not as tricky as the rest of the week, still a bit of a challenge, I did some yoga because it is good for me!!

Excuse the confused look…I was trying to work out if that thing between my neck and shoulder was a muscle… consensus is yes…that is indeed a trap (the muscle kind) woohoo!

Day 81: Friday

Friday followed a pretty standard friday pattern… with the slight addition of having to clean up dead mice and mouse innards before I left the house… this is a dubious perk of having cats…

I did make it to the gym eventually, but neither Sarah or I were *that* dedicated. Still we did a respectable amount of bench press and row supersets. So not extremely dedicated, but it was at least balanced!

Reboot Day 78: 78 Take two…carry on regardless!

oooh! oooh! I can have another 90s song reference here!!

On tuesday I went for a run.

I didn’t really want to but I went anyway because I don’t hate it and often actually like it once I get going πŸ™‚

Also I have a half marathon to train for so shirking is not an option…

I like the word shirking…I should use it more often! Although I shouldn’t use that as a reason to actually shirk…

Anyway…I didn’t feel like running…or doing anything I was still in an anxiety headspace (is a headspace a thing? i mean a thing that isn’t just a place to put your head?) but I convinced myself to go by tricking myself.

I told myself that I only needed to do 2 km… or I could turn it into a walk.

However I ended up doing 4 km because I felt better when I was out there and I needed to πŸ˜€

So that is what I call a success πŸ˜€

Day 78 Done πŸ˜€

Day 78: A non-day

Day 78 was the day that the psycho in my head won.

It was the day I spent crying because a person said a thing that my brain interpreted completely wrongly and wouldn’t let go.

It was the day that made me think about stuff and inspired this post:

There will be flamethrowers!

I didn’t do any exercise barring walking around work. I should have done. I didn’t.

I can’t see it as a failure as it has made me decide to take control of my brain. However It doesn’t fit in to the 365 days of exercise so I will add another one on at the end to make up for it.

one day

sorry

Reboot days 76-77: A weekend of wondrous events…

Well, possibly not actually wondrous… but fun and I liked the alliteration!

Day 76: Saturday and advanture in a discovery

Or to put it another way, we went to busfest in Malvern for the day but didn’t take the van because we wanted to get there quicker…

Busfest is one of the biggest (the biggest?) VW campervan show in the country (world?). There are (obviously) lots of vans there, and lots of stalls selling stuff to put in vans, and on vans, and fix vans and make them shiny or not shiny or taller or shorter or into campers if they aren’t already…

It is quite exiting… in a van-y kind of way!

It involved a very early start and a lot of walking πŸ˜€ so that counts as activity in my book!

now here are some van pics πŸ˜€

Day 77: Sunday…Mad Jacks Day of Dance.

Can you tell from the title, that there was dancing?

Well there was dancing…it was excellent, a genuinely fun day of dancing and walking about and talking to friends! Β We were invited by Mad Jacks Morris to celebrate their 40th birthday. So we went along and danced with some other pretty damn good morris sides. Mostly cotswold and completely different to us, but it is good to see cotswold done well πŸ˜€

I did quite a few dances, it wasn’t a super full dance heavy day but that meant we could put more oomph and enthusiasm into the dances we did. It is good when it is like that, when every dance we do is all oomphy and not draggy because it is the end of the day!!

What with the dancing and the walking about up and down hills (Rye is quite hilly…I didn’t know this) I definietly got a lot of activity in πŸ˜€

Here are some dances…us and not us…

Days 76 & 77 done πŸ˜€

There will be flamethrowers!

In a short break from my normal blogging topics I thought I’d tell you about anxiety and how it relates to me.

It is relevant really because a heath and fitness should refer to all aspects of health and fitness, and certainly all aspects that relate to the blogger!

I will start with a bit of back story… in the dim and am distant past (about 10-15 years ago) I had depression and anxiety and it caused me all sorts of problems…

but I fixed myself, with some help and support…

Anyway, it doesn’t ever go away fully you just learn to live with it and stop it becoming a problem. So well in fact that I could quite easily forget I had it which is pretty dam awesome.

Until recently.

Recently anxiety has risen up and made a home in my head…

it is a bit like this:

I don’t really know where to start, it just feels important to write this down. It is not good pretending it does’t exist.

However, the first thing anxiety does it tell me that this is not worth a blog post. It tells me that I am just whinging over nothing, things are not really bad in my life after all. It tells me that noone wants to read this and that this is pointless.

It is actually right now this minute telling me that I should delete all this and not bother.

The reason I am carrying on with this is because it is important that people speak about these things, there is too much stigma attached to conditions such as anxiety and depression. The more people speak up the better. I also think it is going to help me to tell you all…

I can’t tell you exactly what triggered this, i do have a pretty good idea actually but it isn’t for here. Suffice it to say some people (not me…) did some things that shook my world view and made question a lot of things. It came to my attention around christmas and since then I have been attempting to process it. Anyway, it has triggered some anxiety I had almost forgotten that I had.

What I want to do is describe the things that this anxiety does to me. People have the perception that anxiety is extreme worrying or nervousness about situations and panic attacks. Well those things do happen, but they are not all or even the main part of anxiety for me.

This is what anxiety does to me:

It takes away my ability to trust my own judgement, it takes away my ability to accurately asses situations, it makes it impossible for me to know what I feel or believe what others say.

If I text someone, and they don’t text back immediately the psycho in my brain starts doing this…

“You are annoying them”

“They don’t want to talk to you”

“Why don’t they like you”

“You are not investing why would they answer”

“Stop texting”

“Just check to see”

“Why wouldn’t they just tell me to go away”

“I hope they don’t tell me to go away”

“Why would they want to talk to you anyway”

“They would rather talk to anyone else let’s be honest”

And more and more to that effect all in the space of seconds…

All the while the logical sensible side of me knows none of this is not true. It counters with:

“They are at work”

“They are busy”

“Even if they forget it doesn’t mean they hate you”

“Stop being ridiculous”

Then the psycho picks up on “ridiculous” and starts of with:

“You are so ridiculous”

“Everything you do its stupid”

“You are kidding yourself”

Again all in the space of seconds…

this carries on until it is so loud inside my head that it feels like it will explode.

So I text people again and again and again then I know I am annoying and start apologising for being annoying over and over again…

I did this yesterday to more than one person…

It doesn’t matter that I know that is is all in my head, I feel powerless to stop it!!

The really stupid thing is when they do answer the email or text the psycho starts off with

“You guilt tripped them into it…”

“They answered to shut you up”

It is exhausting!

Then there is the thing that happens when something good happens…

you get super happy and excited for a few seconds then the doubts start..

“You have no reason to be this excited it’s not a big deal”

“Other people do this way better than you it should be them”

“It has been a mistake”

This sort of second guessing and negative self talk happens for everything, every conversation (almost), for every event, for every time I step on a scale or decide on food, for every decision I have to make!

(Except dancing…this doesn’t happen at dancing for some reason)

This is what anxiety does to me!

I can’t pick up a phone to make a phone call without about a day of procrastinating.

I can’t go to a new thing with new people without giving myself a constant pep talk. Yes there have even been times when I can’t do things at all.

I rarely get panic attacks. I rarely give outward signs that this is going on… but it is there!

I can’t tell people because I don’t want to bother them, the psycho me tells me they don’t really care anyway…

I need to point out this is not all the time!

I am generally ok even now. It is happening more at the moment for some reason, but it is not all the time!

I am not telling you this so you (if you are one of those I speak to away from blog world) will text me back more often or more quickly…

I really do know that you all have lives and things to do!

I really do know that one missed text doesn’t mean you hate me!

I just felt the need to write this down because it happens to me sometimes.

I am winning over the psycho and I will not let this stop me from doing stuff!

Doing stuff helps!

Dancing helps!

Lifting helps!

Running and cycling helps!

Art helps!

Blogging helps…

So all I have to do is keep doing and find a way to stop listening to the psycho on the occasion that they creep in!

I am even second guessing publishing this post because I don’t want people to think I am guilt tripping them into liking me!

I am not! This isn’t what this is!

This is me saying no more!!

No more psycho no more monsters no more sitting alone in the dark!

This is me taking back my head!!

There will be flamethrowers!!

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