Bernard, lived on the wrong side of the biscuit shelf, he was down on his luck and out of favour with the biscuit elite. He used to be the biscuit around town with his super chunky chocolate chips and his velvety cocoalte coating, all the girls would swoon. How, the times have changed, he is now a bad biscuit. With no hopes had he of fitting in with the wholegrain wafer thin posse of the good biscuits, Bernard enrolled in a elite military unit. When a spate of murders were reported in the local area, Bernard was sent to prison by a military court for a crime he did not commit. The court was convinced, because Bernard was a bad biscuit.
Well, that sounds like an epic tale of the battle between good (food) and evil (food), I am surprised none of the major bestselling authours wrote it…
I am not surprised at all because there is no such thing as good and bad food!!
(also, sadly, biscuits can’t join the A Team)
This may have been a rather obscure way of getting my point across but I wanted to highlight how much nonsense there is out there concerning food. There are diets which advocate cutting out entire food groups, there are billion dollar industries built around diet methods that are primarily geared around selling you products and don’t teach you healthy choices in the long run. There are detoxes and clenases and all sorts of things that in the worst cases boil down to legitamised eating disorders. I am not doing to go to far into my opinions on these diets right now, but suffice it to say that some of these things can be used sucessfully if you treat them as a short term learning exercise.
However, what I really want to talk about is societys attitude to food and the language we (yes I am guilty too although I do try not to be) use to describe foods.
How often have you heard food described as bad or unhealthy or been told that you or someone else shouldn’t eat it because they are trying to be good. Eating a biscuit has become synonymous with being naughty in society. It is almost like eating food deemed to be unhealthy has become a crime with all the associated guilt and punishment.
There is a pervasive expectation within society (women in particular but by no means only women) that you justify your chocolate/cake/bag of crisps/whatever. Listen for it next time, people say “oh I shouldn’t have this but I won’t get any lunch” or ” I have to go for a long run later” or some such thing. If they don’t do it so directly, you may hear such phrases as “Oh my goodnes that’s sweet, I am not used to that much sugar any more” implying that this is ok because it is a once in a while occurrence and they didn’t really enjoy it anyway. Or someone will shortly after eating whatever it is bring up their running or gymming or the salad they had for lunch.
We now seem to live in a society where enjoying tasty but less out right good for you is frowned upon to the extent that people are driven to feelings of guilt afterwards. People then restrict food in the next meal or day to make up for the “slip” or they punish themselves with a super hard workout…
Food has been divided into “good food” and “bad food” and the two should apparently never meet! It is all about extremes bad food will undoubtedly kill you and good food will reputedly make you live forever as a god. There is no in between!
Well this all needs to stop!
Exercise is not a punishment, if you are doing an exercise that you see as a punishment, it is not the one for you…it is a great thing to be doing for yourself so do something fun!
Withholding food is not a punishment…well actually it totally is, it is one used by sadistic prisons and concentration camps and the like. It is not a thing we should be doing to ourselves because we have been bad and eaten a biscuit.
What is even more important to realise, is that the action of eating a biscuit or cake or cheese toastie or whatever is not an action that needs punishment.
Food is not a crime. (unless you are launching it at other countries then it might be)
Food itself is not good or bad!
Food has no moral values what so ever!
It is all about moderation and balance. There are wrong amounts of foods, this means there are amounts of foods which will cause you to have taken in more energy than you expend. This is true of all foods though. The amount is different in each case but it is still true. I know it is, I worked it out, you can exceed your (average) recommended calorie intake by just eating lettuce…although it would take something like 47 lettuces a day and I don’t recommend it…
I am not saying that all foods are nutritionally equal. I am not saying that there isn’t an element of thought that should be given to what you eat. What I am saying is we need to try to take the emotion and the guilt out of the equation.
This way disordered eating lies. We are becoming a society of people with unhealthy attitudes to food and eating and all things related. A society of people frightened to eat a cake for fear of the judgement of strangers (and friends). A society locked in to a cycle of overeating and dieting and restriction that leads to more overeating.
We need to realise that it is all about balance. There is room in a balanced diet for a biscuit. There is room for a piece of cake. It just shouldn’t be all the cake all of the time…
Now if you’ll excuse me I am going to track down Bernard, he sounded tasty…
Well apparently yes…apparently I can do comedy. Who knew??
Yes I know I am breaking my new schedule the day after it started but I am excited and I want to tell you things!!
About a month ago, I entered a writing competition. It was brought to my attention by the lovely Lucy from Secret Diary of PorterGirl (whose blog is fantastic btw go and read all of it and buy her books) it was a flash comedy writing competition on the website https://carrotranch.com/
Now, I had never really written fiction before, or comedy… but I thought “what the hell, I’ll give it a go” It wasn’t like the judges would come round my house and laugh at me for entering… (hopefully). SO I wrote a tiny (the limit was 300 words) bit of flash comedy based on some iPhone found poetry that you might recognise… and I sent it to them. Then I forgot all about it. Until today…
Today I found out that I came second 😀 😀 😀 I can’t really believe it but it happened! Here is the link to the post where they published my writing…
and, in case you don’t want to click the link (although you should..) here is the flash comedy fiction that I wrote…
The day my phone turned into a needy surrealist and developed an obsession with otters!
When I set my phone the task of writing poetry, I never expected it to reveal a secret life full of angst, rich plotlines and otters…
I hate it when people think they know me
I have been thrown away
It does not matter
I hate it when you don’t think of me
I have just noticed the otter
It seems that there is no such thing as Tuesday
That could have been extremely depressing if it hadn’t turned suddenly, into a surrealist, near future expose on a world with otters peering at you from behind the impending destruction of Tuesday.
During that moment you can tell me how you feel
Yes it was meant for you but I am not
Soon I will be honest with the otter
It would seem that I have been lying to the otter. But what about and why? Was it about the destruction of Tuesday, which really can only be a good thing. Why would anyone lie about that? Maybe it was something else, something I was not sure that the otter could handle. Maybe I was concerned that the otter would indeed tell me how he felt…
I had to find out why I lied to the otter!
I don’t know what you are
Otters and I have gin and tonic
I am just so ready for a new wildcat
That explains it, the otter didn’t know about the new wildcat. Everyone seems to have gin and tonic though so I think the honesty went well. I am not so sure about the wildcat however…
The otter is definitely the best sort of dragon
We need a better wildcat
Don’t forget to check out the other angry bears
I think the otter should possibly lay off the gin.
Well…time and otters have stolen some days from me and I am two weeks from my last post…again 😱 but last week I promised a new schedule of Mondays and Fridays for posts on here 🙂 Mondays will be a round up of the last week and Fridays will be about something exciting exercise related 😊
So without further ado… here is the last two weeks in pictures…
some of them are awesome because I spent time in the beautiful Derbyshire dales which should make up for the lack of posts a little bit
I loved Derbyshire! So much beautiful countryside and so many hills! It was am amazing place to walk and (attempt to) run!
I promise more words in Fridays instalment 😊
Good morning people of the world!
yes I am being optimistic about my blog reach…why not!
First the new venture…
I have decided to try my h and at writing fiction 🙂 I have chosen the Otters of time to be the subjects of this fiction, they are adventurous scamps so should get up to some fantastic antics…
To see what they are up to go and have a lookhere https://otterchronicles.wordpress.com/ and folow the blog…It should be an entertaining escapade… the first installment is already up and running! And there will be new installments on Tuesday and Friday
Their first adventure is here:
THe second thing is posts to this blog, I have decided that what with keeping track of adventurous otters that blogging every day is getting somewhat hard to keep up…I am planning from next week to blog twice a week (Monday and Friday) to keep you all posted on the exercise-y goodness!
I promise an exercise update later today…for now…here is an otter…
I ran a 10K!!!
I was going to lead up to that with some sort of suspense building preamble… apparently I am excited about it and I blurted it out just like that!
A couple of months ago, when it seemed very far off in both time and running ability, I entered the Thruxton 10k race. It seemed like a good idea at the time, it was a race around a race circuit. By which I mean a car/motorbike racing circuit which we were running around. Not at the same time as cars or bikes…that would be tricky…
It is a little race track (says she who doesn’t really know how long a race track normally is…) but 10k was 2 laps plus a bit so it seems little to me.
Well…it didn’t at the time at the time it seemed long, and possibly never ending… twice… which makes no sense. but I was running, no sense is the best sense you are going to get when I am running.
Anyway…this 10k was around a race track (as I may have mentioned) it was also superhero themed and really small!
Superhero themes I can deal with…I practically live my life superhero themed after all 😀
The small was harder to cope with… by small I mean it was a small field. No, not in a small field it was on a race track we have established this…there were not many runners. The problem with races with not many runners is there is nowhere to hide races like that with not many people in are normally entered by people who are certain of their running abilities. You don’t get the plethora of walkers, hobblers and people generally trying their best who are not all that quick. This made the whole thing particularly terrifying to me in my capacity as a slow ploddy run walk interval person… however realising that as I arrived at the race track made it far too late to do anything but plod along around the course and hope for the best…
and you know what it was actually ok! I was slow but I followed my interval plan and just kept going! I was on my own most of the way, everyone else disappearing into the distance rapidly.
Well on my own until people reappeared and lapped me… weirdly this didn’t bother me. I expected to hate it and be a crying mess when people went past and finished and I had to carry on but I wasn’t. The people passing me gave me thumbs up and said encouraging things and what is even more strange is I didn’t feel patronised!!
So I just carried on and I did the 10K 😁
And I wasn’t last! There were at least 3 people behind me and it is amazing how motivating the desire not to be last can be 😁
This race was an extremely positive experience! I fully expected to hate it but I didn’t at all! I wasn’t expecting great things as I hadn’t run 10K since 2015 but it ended up being the second quickest 10K I have ever done! I wasn’t last and I didn’t die and more than that it is the first time ever (possibly second) I came out of a race feeling proud of myself!!
Proud of my friend Susie too who won the women’s race and her daughter who won the under 20s class! Blooming awesome I say!!
Day 104: Monday
Monday morning brought an unexpectedly early start followed by some leg and hip prodding and poking and stretching…
I think the official term is sports therapy with some sports massage in there too… but basically it boils down to poking and prodding and pushing on bits that hurt…
Still, it is effective and I felt better when I walked out than I did when I hobbled in!! I also learned exactly what is wrong with me. Well…exactly what is wrong with my hip at any rate 😀
I have an overuse injury in my apparently super tight TFL and ITB. The ITB (illiotibial band) is the long band of stuff that runs down the ouside of your leg from hip to knee and the TFL (Tenser Fascia Latae) is the muscle that attaches it to the pelvis.
Apparently it does more work than it is meant to when your glutes are not doing what they should while you are running.
This is quite common when you suddenly increase the amount of runnign you are doing, in fact Matt had predicted it before the appointment!
So apparently my left glute is not working very well…or to put it another way, I have an unbalanced bottom O_O Still at least I know that now and can fix it…
Because of all this prodding and injury I was advised by Matt not to run for a day or two. So, like a good patient I didn’t run on monday, I went for a walk in my luchbreak instead!
Look a picture of my feet, that proves I was walking… or something.
Day 105: Tuesday
Tuesday started as is has every week in living memory (well 4 years) with a PT session. The benefit of your personal trainer and your sports therapist being the same person is they can do rehab exercises with you in your PT session and they know exactly which ones you have to do…
Miraculously, by Tuesday morning I had no hip pain at all! woohoo!
However, I still had to do crazy (effective but crazy) rehab exercises and still wasn’t allowed to run!
PT consisted of Squats with elastic bands around my knees…but not in the way I normally do these. The elastic band anchored me to a post there was on loop of the band around each knee and it pulled me forwards so I had to resist and pull back while squatting… this was tricky to say the least. It also contained single leg bridges with the leg not on the floor held tucked in so that it cant help. I had to do these on both legs…because of balance and such… there was also time on a recumbent bike, which is a wierd thing but designed for rehab so seemed appropriate…
I decided, to follow instructions too…I didn’t run eve though I felt like I possibly could… I walked again 😀
As you can see there were quite a lot of leaves!
Pretty ones too 🙂 you get to see some good things when wandering around 🙂