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Found poetry pt 2: the otter saga

Or the day my phone turned into a needy surrealist and developed an obsession with otters!

Otter-City-1

this is what you get if you google surrealist otters… It is by Caleb Brown and I think it is awesome!! (click on it for more info!)

In case the title of the post didn’t give it away, I have been experimentinf further with this predictive text found poetry idea. I have had some quite interesting results.

There are quite a lot that don’t work, you get an endless string of “I have not I have I want to no seem…” etc but I have discovered that the way to avoid this is to play with the rules. In traditional found poetry you can take words from a page or pages and put them together, this allows a degree of selection of words. So in the construction of these predictive text versions I am allowed to take out words and sometimes give the phone a startign letter. but not add words which were not suggested. This is what happened yesterday:

I hate it when people think they know me
I have been thrown away
It does not matter

I hate it when you don’t think of me
I have just noticed the otter
It seems that there is no such thing as Tuesday

That could have been a very depressing poem if it hadn’t turned suddenly, into a surrealist, near future expose on a world with otters peering at you from behind the impending destruction of tuesday! It has been pointed out to me that the juxtaposition of an otter with the emo-angst of the first 4 lines adds a playful tone to the end of the poem (thank you Lucy for that one 🙂 )

I thought that would be the end of it…but in my next attempt the otter put in aonther appearance…

During that moment you can tell me how you feel
Yes it was meant for you but I am not
Soon I will be honest with the otter

It would seem that I have been lying to the otter. but what about and why? Was it about the destruction of tueday, which really can only be a good thing and I am not sure why anyone would lie about it. Was it soemthing else? Something I was not sure that the otter could handle. Maybe I was concerned that the otter would indeed tell me how he felt…

The next installemnt looked like this. I did encourage the otter with the addition of an O at the start of the second line, but that was the only medeling i did. It is in the rules…and I had to find out why I lied to the otter!

I don’t know what you are
Otters and I have gin and tonic
I am just so ready for a new wildcat

Well…I guess the otter didn’t know about the new wildcat. It would seem that he has gained some otter friends too, possibly to balance out the afore mentioned wildcat. Everyone seems to have gin and tonic though so I think the honesty went well!

Mind you…I have a feeling the otter left me in the end…

It does feel better when you are my friend
It was ok to go back in time for a while
I am sure it would be nice to see the otter

 

Found Poetry pt 1

I have discovered and rapidly become obessed with found poetry. If you aren’t aware of found poetry, it is using words and phrases you find in certain placecs to make a poem. This is how wikipedia describes it:

Found poetry is a type of poetry created by taking words, phrases, and sometimes whole passages from other sources and reframing them as poetry (a literaryequivalent of a collage) by making changes in spacing and lines, or by adding or deleting text, thus imparting new meaning.”

This whole voyage of discovery came out of a conversation with the lovely Lucy from  PorterGirl about auto correct and predictive text. So for my first venture into found poetry I decided to use only the words suggested by my phone’s predictive text:

I am not sure if it is true or not
I am not sure if I am a good person
Saturday nights are the best things ever

I am not sure if I should be honest with this
Yes I am sure that I am not sure
The idea of the gin is not a bad thing

Yes I thought you had to be honest with me
It does not work for the people who don’t know
Yes yes indeed yes

Which is interesting and not just random word salad so that is a start…

My second attempt went like this:

Yes there was an option for a small gin
Yes It was good fun, there was a lot of good stuff
It should probably have been more sensible than it was

Yes I do have some sort of food
Yes it does seem like that would be quite tricky
It was ok but that was meant for your mind

Well…I see a gin theme developing here, and to be honest the line:
“It should probably have been more sensible than it was”
probably sums up my whole life!

I liked the repetition in the startign words, so I continued this for my third attempt:

I am just leaving work for a while
I am just so happy to see it again
If it doesn’t happen again it should

I am just not surprised at all
I am not going on anything else
If you had been a little more sensible then she would have been a better person

I could see by this point that my predicitive text with no direction was startign to come up with the same words, so I decided to see what it would do if I gave it some help…

So I gave it the letter M…literally that is all…

Manipulation is not very much fun
It hurts me to think about it but you never know what I mean
It was a very small thing but it certainly was meant to be hurtful
It does nothing for me and my mind

Well…me and my mind are not sure about that one…

I quite like it though!

I also quite like this form of poetry, and am inspired to try some more found poetry method. I have seen examples made from words taken from book pages or magazine pages, or adverts…

I feel some experimentation coming on!

found_poems_jpg.jpg

Non-exercise things that I have been up to…

Yes…it is true…believe it or not, I do, sometimes, do things that are not related to fitness or exercise…

This post is about those things…

well actually it is a little bit of a cheat post because I am really encouraging you to go and look at my other two blogs where I write about these non-exercise-y things…

For things related to our new (to us) little red van and its adventures go and have a look here:

https://redvantravels.wordpress.com

and for things relating to arty creative-y pursuits go and have a look here:

https://samsartjournal.wordpress.com

Thanks for looking 😀 😀

Why I March

I marched. I marched for equality. I marched to prove that one man does not speak for all. I marched to show the world that those who can stand up will stand up. I marched because it is time to take a stand for what is right in a world filled with lies and madness. […]

Ad-van-ture number two: Van with fairy lights…

Good morning 😀
I promise some exercise related content will appear here shortly…
In the mean time have a look at the latest adventure of the little red van… or better yet…follow the blog 😀 (yes…another shameless plug!!)
https://redvantravels.wordpress.com/

Red Van Travels

In case the fairy lights reference didn’t give it away…this is a xmas based post…

It is a relatively short ad-van-ture but bears a mention because it forms in important part of van history. Important because it was our xmas present.  Our outlandishly extravagant xmas  present…well…not outlandishly extravagant really…it will be awesome as we will be able to use it for adventures for years!! and we will go away far more often than we ever would without it 😀

I have a suspicion that with the amount of coffee I drink, just taking the facility to make our own coffee with us on day trips will save us a fortune 😉

Anyway…back to the adventure…as the van was our xmas present we thoght it only right that we took it out on xmas day when we went to spend the day with family 🙂

and because it was xmas…we thought it only…

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Ad-van-ture number one: Boxgrove Priory…

Go and have a look ad the first adventure of the little red van…
If you are feelign super generous or exited to know more about the fantastic ad-van-tures to come then follow my other blog 😀
https://redvantravels.wordpress.com

Red Van Travels

Ad-van- ture one is also the first time I drove the van… which is more of a challenge than it sounds…

I may have forgotten to tell you that is is a left hand drive beastie! which presents a whole lot of challenges in a country where you drive on the left hand side of the road…

Things like the steering wheel being on the wrong side of the car, like changing gear with your right hand not your left hand, like the gears being in a completely different position on the stick to your other car, like your perception of road position being constantly challenged…

This steering wheel is not where I feel it should be! My advice to you, is, if you are going to try to overcome all of these difficulties, don’t do it 5 mins before attempting to drive up the biggest hill in your area…

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I think I might have to restart January…

Well, the January challenges anyway…as I don’t think the universe will let me have a redo for the whole month…

Anyway…my Janathon and my 31 days of yoga fell by the wayside a little… and by a little, I mean a lot… there have been some extenuating circumstances involving some crazy stuff, which I am not going to go into, and I got hit by The Cold!

you know The Cold…the one that is going around that comes with such a bad sore throat that you think you have regrown your tonsils just so you can have tonsillitis…

Yes I know…it sounds like a bucket of excuses…but it isn’t…and I haven’t been idle, I have still gymmed and danced and walked, I just haven’t followed a rigorous  every day plan…

look…here are some things I have done…

Hehe sorry about all the selfies…only I am not really sorry because they are actually good for self esteem and suchlike!

Ok, time for the positive… 3 years ago, even last year probably, not completing this every day challenge would have me worrying about failing, it would have me apologising on here and worrying about losing all the fitness I have built up. However I am not doing any of that.

I have realised that I have come so far in this lifestyle change that a “failure” to do yoga every day or to post on FB in the Janathon group is not going to derail me. I am not going to lose what I have gained just by taking two rest days in a row…especially if they are rest days due to illness!

I am still going to go to the gym and walk and dance and generally be active because it is part of me…it is not what I do it is who I am. I genuinely love it too much to just stop!

I don’t need 30 day challenges to keep me on track, that doesn’t mean I won’t do any ever again because I genuinely think some of them are beneficial… I just don’t rely on them any more 😀

That being said, I am going to restart the Yoga challenge because I really believe yoga will do me good!

Look at me…I developed a grown up attitude O_O when did that happen!!

Oh and in other news…I started a new blog… one full of the adventures of our little red VW van…so apparently i am a travel blogger now too…

Go look and follow me!! (shameless plug…sorry)

https://wordpress.com/stats/day/redvantravels.wordpress.com

 

 

Presenting Our Little Red Volkswagen California

Originally posted on Red Van Travels :
On the 10th December 2016 we became the proud custodians of a VW T25 California Westfalia Campervan… By which I mean we conducted a transaction with a man in Essex in which he got a chunk of our money and we got a little red van to have adventures…

A lovely new blog!!

People people…go and read this:

https://whoshottonyblair.com/

it is the new website of the lovely Lucy telling of post brexit governmental shenanigans…you know about it because I reblogged the trailer…

Who Shot Tony Blair? – Watch Now!

It is awesome so go read and follow and suchlike!! 😀

Media manipulation of the masses

This is far to big and vague a subject for jut one blog post…

so what I really mean is:

Media manipulation of the truth in order to sell health and fitness programs / supplements / accessories etc…

Which I also admit is a massive subject and I can’t hope to cover at once!

everyone by now has seen the endless before and after photos that come with every single workout dvd or “diet plan”

Insanity_Diet

you know…like these…

you only have to google Insanity or 30 day shred to see pages and pages of photos of people who have undergone a miraculous transformation…

the difference between insanity and 30ds (and some others) is they promise dramatic results, but not without hard work!

You don’t end up buying either of these programs without knowing you are going to have to sweat (a lot!) to get the results. And to be honest some of them ever come with taglines that say 3 rounds or 2 rounds, implying that it might take more than one go through the program to get the results.

The real problems are the gadgets and diets that are sold promising almost magical transformations with zero effort in only minutes a day…

you know the ones for ab trainer plus pro things or the cabbage and grasshopper diet…

or that one wierd trick that will help you lose belly fat fast…

Does anyone know what that is by the way?

I have never clicked on the link but I would love it if you clicked through and paid what ever it is and there was just  pdf that said:

Eat better, move more!

you get the idea...

you get the idea…

There are seemingly endless ways to lose weight and size and whatnot with absolutely no effort at all apparently!

And every one of these things comes with its own ultra convincing set of before and after photos…

The problem is I don’t trust any of them!

I know full well that anything that only last 3 mins or is so easy you don’t know you are doing anything is just not going to give sensible results…it just isn’t. I know this, you know this…so what is with the before and after photos.

If those results can be attained from those “tricks” then everything I thought I knew was wrong.

and if they can’t and the pictures are faked, then what about the ones associated with the more reputable programs based on sensible concepts…

can I trust those?

We have all, by now seen the “amazing transformations” made in 15 mins with good lighting and better fitting clothes…(if not go look)

It has got to the point where I have no idea what is a real transformation and what is faked by the media, and that is a shame. There are people out there who really have done amazing things with weight loss, and it is not fair that their hard work is called into question because there are magazines / TV companies putting up all the fake pictures to sell more stuff!

I really wish the media would stop!

Is there any wonder that so many people out there are getting the whole thing so wrong! Even with genuine knowledge gained from professional qualifications, I still sometimes look at these things and think…”oooh that looks intriguing…” it only lasts for seconds in my case, and i do have enough knowledge to see whether these things are based in science, but what about the people who don’t?

Remember, if it seems too good to be true, it probably is!!

This is, unfortunately, just another instance of the media and businesses playing on people’s insecurities to make money.

I am not saying there aren’t systems and workouts and such out there that work, Insanity is blooming brilliant for example< but none of them will work without effort!

I am going to stop now before this turns into (more of) a rant.

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