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Find your why!

This isn’t a Janathon exercise update because I thought I’d tell you some things I have been thinking about…they are relevant and interesting things I promise… not just musings about why dragons have such a bad reputation or why I only like the idea of a dog…

After all what’s the point of having an exercise blog if I can’t tell you all some stuff. Even if it might secretly be about dragons…

It isn’t about dragons I promise!




I have recently heard in real life and seen  on social media, a lot of questions about motivation. More specifically questions about finding and maintaining motivation to exercise. I have thought a lot about the answer and the basic answer is that relying on motivation is not going to work. Motivation for everyone comes and goes. It is a fleeting thing that is impossible to quantify and impossible to really define as it is different for everyone. I am not going to tell you how to become motivated, or give you any “tips and tricks” because 9 times out of 10 those types of posts prove to be either a rehash of the same old stuff or patronising. What I am going to do is tell you what worked for me.

As I said, For me, there no point in relying on motivation. I can’t imagine anyone, not even Usain Bolt or Serena Williams can be motivated to work out and train 100% of the time! Even the most dedicated sportsmen and women must have days where they just can’t be bothered. The real question is how do you make yourself work out anyway, on those days where you just want to stay indoors and eat blue cake, how do you make yourself get out there and run or lift or yoga or anything!

The answer for me is to find my why. The reason I am doing all of this. The thing that when I do it makes all the hard work and grumpy workouts worthwhile! This thing should be a positive thing. Negative whys never stick for the long term. Working out through fear of being fat/bad/whatever is not going to put you in a good frame of mind and will reinforce negative thought patterns and eventually behaviour patterns.

In case you didn’t already know, my why is dancing. I think the whole “Project Fit Enough to Dance in a Mask” title may have given that away…but I am telling you anyway :-p

I am telling you because by extension that means I am telling me. the more i exercise, the better I dance. When I do cardio, I dance better. When I run, I dance better. The better I dance the happier I am so why wouldn’t I work towards being better at it 😀

My other why, is that lifting heavy things makes me feel like a superhero. Feeling like a superhero is awesome and there is really no downside to feeling awesome! that and feeling like a superhero is one step closer to becoming a superhero, which is my ultimate goal. After all, why wait for some other superhero to come along and rescue you when you can be one yourself… that way there is always one around when you need one. 😀

So, if you think you want to do exercise then find a “why” that inspires you!! Whether it is “Because I want to run/swim/etc in the Olympics” or “because I want to be able to run about after my idea dog, or my dragon!”


This is my idea dog, he is great, he lives in my head and is always cute and I never have to pick up any poo!



Temporal Experimentation Expedition 1 (pt 2)

for any of you worried about Peter and Zofia’s encounter with Otter security, here is the conclusion of their report!

The Otter Chronicles

“You There!! Stop!! What are you two doing out after curfew!?!

Zsofia and I exchanged startled glances. Security Otters? Curfews? What was going on here! It would certainly explain the darness and quietness of the Holt but raised far more questions. However, even I could see that stopping to ask this fellow what was going on was probably a bad idea and we would be better off attempting to talk our way out of it.

I was desperately trying to come up with a plausible excuse that didn’t involve starting a sentence with, “hi, we are from the past…” or “So, when is this and who are you?” I’ll be honest, I was failing. Luckily Zsofia was somewhat quicker on the uptake. She was suddenly a whole lot closer than I expected and lent her head against mine, she started to explain that we were on an assignation. I don’t…

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Temporal experimentation expedition 1

The Otters have done it!! They have travelled in time…but what does this mean for Otterkind!!

The Otter Chronicles

Good day chaps! I am pleased to report that some semblance of order has been restored around here after the last weeks festivities. I have managed to tame the chaos in my office, I had some assistance from young Lucas, his mother made him help out to teach him not to break into peoples offices and wreak havoc. To be honest I am not sure he was particularly helpful, the chronology of the reports may be a little hit or miss for a little while. He had more regard for neat piles than organisation. Nevertheless I have a functional office chair and some passable snacks so things are looking up. Most importantly, I have found that marvellous report from Peter and Zofia. I think it is best if I leave the report in young Paddlefoot’s words, he has a bit of a way with them and knows some really good…

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Happy New Horse!

This is a poem I write yesterday, it is a bit silly but I love it! It embodies (if a poem can do that) the optimism with which I am marching (riding) into 2018 🙂

Art Journal

This one is for my extremely awesome friend Lucy from PorterGirl 

New year, new you?
What is wrong
with the old you?
New year new horse!
on which we will ride

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A thoroughly nice chap

Here is the latest update from the otters… they have finally solved the hamster problem!
Don’t forget to click through and follow the Otter Chronicles to find out what they are up to on a regular basis 🙂

The Otter Chronicles

I have been having some fantastic chats this week with that temporal research fellow, Brian Russetcoat. Fantastic, and more than a little confusing, but he said some extremely interesting words, long ones too. He has a lot of opinions that one, and he does have a tendency to look around dramatically and go off on tangents. Still, splendid conversations I am almost certain.

img_2543 Brian Russetcoat

Yes, I remember now, we had quite a fascinating discussion about music, this fellow used to be in a popular music combo you know. Something I remember from when I was a young otter kitten, B’lieve or somesuch thing.

This was before he got into the research game of course.

Music wasn’t the main reason for our chats, but as I think I have mentioned Brian is a tricky person to talk to. Thoroughly nice chap though, full of enthusiasm and zeal and ideas.


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Otters of the black and pink shirt

Just thought I’d keep you all updated on what the otters are up to! Don’t forget if you want to read about all of their antics first hand follow the Otter Chronicles 😀
(yes, this is a blatant plug for my other blog 🙂 )

The Otter Chronicles

Well, what an eventful day today was! I have had reports coming in from all over the raft. Obviously there have been the every day reports, progress on the temporal flow project, ideas about possible cures for the otter cold, ideas about cures for cold otters you know, the kind of thing. Routine stuff…

However, mixed in with all of these were increasingly flustered updates from Debbie Shorttail concerning the antics of those damn hamsters. She is very concerned with them getting too close together and causing the demise of civilisation as we know it, or implosion of the raft and surrounding rivers at the very least! This is the sort of thing that happens all the time when future and past versions of small rodents meet, or so I am told.  What she hasn’t told me is how they know that, as far as we all know this is…

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Comedy? Me? Really?

Well apparently yes…apparently I can do comedy. Who knew??

Yes I know I am breaking my new schedule the day after it started but I am excited and I want to tell you things!!

About a month ago, I entered a writing competition. It was brought to my attention by the lovely Lucy from Secret Diary of PorterGirl (whose blog is fantastic btw go and read all of it and buy her books) it was a flash comedy writing competition on the website

Now, I had never really written fiction before, or comedy… but I thought “what the hell, I’ll give it a go” It wasn’t like the judges would come round my house and laugh at me for entering… (hopefully). SO I wrote a tiny (the limit was 300 words) bit of flash comedy based on some iPhone found poetry that you might recognise… and I sent it to them. Then I forgot all about it. Until today…

Today I found out that I came second 😀 😀 😀 I can’t really believe it but it happened! Here is the link to the post where they published my writing…

Winner of Flash Fiction Rodeo Contest #2

and, in case you don’t want to click the link (although you should..) here is the flash comedy fiction that I wrote…

The day my phone turned into a needy surrealist and developed an obsession with otters!

When I set my phone the task of writing poetry, I never expected it to reveal a secret life full of angst, rich plotlines and otters…

I hate it when people think they know me
I have been thrown away
It does not matter

I hate it when you don’t think of me
I have just noticed the otter
It seems that there is no such thing as Tuesday

That could have been extremely depressing if it hadn’t turned suddenly, into a surrealist, near future expose on a world with otters peering at you from behind the impending destruction of Tuesday.

During that moment you can tell me how you feel
Yes it was meant for you but I am not
Soon I will be honest with the otter

It would seem that I have been lying to the otter. But what about and why? Was it about the destruction of Tuesday, which really can only be a good thing. Why would anyone lie about that? Maybe it was something else, something I was not sure that the otter could handle. Maybe I was concerned that the otter would indeed tell me how he felt…

I had to find out why I lied to the otter!

I don’t know what you are
Otters and I have gin and tonic
I am just so ready for a new wildcat

That explains it, the otter didn’t know about the new wildcat. Everyone seems to have gin and tonic though so I think the honesty went well. I am not so sure about the wildcat however…

 The otter is definitely the best sort of dragon
We need a better wildcat
Don’t forget to check out the other angry bears

I think the otter should possibly lay off the gin.



An otter of the people — The Otter Chronicles

The start of the otter adventures, have a look and follow my new blog for exiting new otter adventures 😀

A visit to the research otters

via An otter of the people — The Otter Chronicles

A(nother) new venture and a new schedule

Good morning people of the world!

yes I am being optimistic about my blog reach…why not!

First the new venture…

I have decided to try my h and at writing fiction 🙂 I have chosen the Otters of time to be the subjects of this fiction, they are adventurous scamps so should get up to some fantastic antics…

To see what they are up to go and have a lookhere and folow the blog…It should be an entertaining escapade… the first installment is already up and running! And there will be new installments on Tuesday and Friday

Their first adventure is here:

THe second thing is posts to this blog, I have decided that what with keeping track of adventurous otters that blogging every day is getting somewhat hard to keep up…I am planning from next week to blog twice a week (Monday and Friday) to keep you all posted on the exercise-y goodness!

I promise an exercise update later today…for now…here is an otter…

There will be flamethrowers!

In a short break from my normal blogging topics I thought I’d tell you about anxiety and how it relates to me.

It is relevant really because a heath and fitness should refer to all aspects of health and fitness, and certainly all aspects that relate to the blogger!

I will start with a bit of back story… in the dim and am distant past (about 10-15 years ago) I had depression and anxiety and it caused me all sorts of problems…

but I fixed myself, with some help and support…

Anyway, it doesn’t ever go away fully you just learn to live with it and stop it becoming a problem. So well in fact that I could quite easily forget I had it which is pretty dam awesome.

Until recently.

Recently anxiety has risen up and made a home in my head…

it is a bit like this:

I don’t really know where to start, it just feels important to write this down. It is not good pretending it does’t exist.

However, the first thing anxiety does it tell me that this is not worth a blog post. It tells me that I am just whinging over nothing, things are not really bad in my life after all. It tells me that noone wants to read this and that this is pointless.

It is actually right now this minute telling me that I should delete all this and not bother.

The reason I am carrying on with this is because it is important that people speak about these things, there is too much stigma attached to conditions such as anxiety and depression. The more people speak up the better. I also think it is going to help me to tell you all…

I can’t tell you exactly what triggered this, i do have a pretty good idea actually but it isn’t for here. Suffice it to say some people (not me…) did some things that shook my world view and made question a lot of things. It came to my attention around christmas and since then I have been attempting to process it. Anyway, it has triggered some anxiety I had almost forgotten that I had.

What I want to do is describe the things that this anxiety does to me. People have the perception that anxiety is extreme worrying or nervousness about situations and panic attacks. Well those things do happen, but they are not all or even the main part of anxiety for me.

This is what anxiety does to me:

It takes away my ability to trust my own judgement, it takes away my ability to accurately asses situations, it makes it impossible for me to know what I feel or believe what others say.

If I text someone, and they don’t text back immediately the psycho in my brain starts doing this…

“You are annoying them”

“They don’t want to talk to you”

“Why don’t they like you”

“You are not investing why would they answer”

“Stop texting”

“Just check to see”

“Why wouldn’t they just tell me to go away”

“I hope they don’t tell me to go away”

“Why would they want to talk to you anyway”

“They would rather talk to anyone else let’s be honest”

And more and more to that effect all in the space of seconds…

All the while the logical sensible side of me knows none of this is not true. It counters with:

“They are at work”

“They are busy”

“Even if they forget it doesn’t mean they hate you”

“Stop being ridiculous”

Then the psycho picks up on “ridiculous” and starts of with:

“You are so ridiculous”

“Everything you do its stupid”

“You are kidding yourself”

Again all in the space of seconds…

this carries on until it is so loud inside my head that it feels like it will explode.

So I text people again and again and again then I know I am annoying and start apologising for being annoying over and over again…

I did this yesterday to more than one person…

It doesn’t matter that I know that is is all in my head, I feel powerless to stop it!!

The really stupid thing is when they do answer the email or text the psycho starts off with

“You guilt tripped them into it…”

“They answered to shut you up”

It is exhausting!

Then there is the thing that happens when something good happens…

you get super happy and excited for a few seconds then the doubts start..

“You have no reason to be this excited it’s not a big deal”

“Other people do this way better than you it should be them”

“It has been a mistake”

This sort of second guessing and negative self talk happens for everything, every conversation (almost), for every event, for every time I step on a scale or decide on food, for every decision I have to make!

(Except dancing…this doesn’t happen at dancing for some reason)

This is what anxiety does to me!

I can’t pick up a phone to make a phone call without about a day of procrastinating.

I can’t go to a new thing with new people without giving myself a constant pep talk. Yes there have even been times when I can’t do things at all.

I rarely get panic attacks. I rarely give outward signs that this is going on… but it is there!

I can’t tell people because I don’t want to bother them, the psycho me tells me they don’t really care anyway…

I need to point out this is not all the time!

I am generally ok even now. It is happening more at the moment for some reason, but it is not all the time!

I am not telling you this so you (if you are one of those I speak to away from blog world) will text me back more often or more quickly…

I really do know that you all have lives and things to do!

I really do know that one missed text doesn’t mean you hate me!

I just felt the need to write this down because it happens to me sometimes.

I am winning over the psycho and I will not let this stop me from doing stuff!

Doing stuff helps!

Dancing helps!

Lifting helps!

Running and cycling helps!

Art helps!

Blogging helps…

So all I have to do is keep doing and find a way to stop listening to the psycho on the occasion that they creep in!

I am even second guessing publishing this post because I don’t want people to think I am guilt tripping them into liking me!

I am not! This isn’t what this is!

This is me saying no more!!

No more psycho no more monsters no more sitting alone in the dark!

This is me taking back my head!!

There will be flamethrowers!!

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